12/11/20

Dear Santa: An Open Letter in 2020

 Dear Santa,

(Sigh)... Where do we begin?  There's no mincing words that this year has been a rough one.  I'll go so far as to even qualify that this year was the hardest I've seen during my relatively brief lifetime.  I'm sure you're no stranger to the chaos that has enveloped the globe, given your extensive intelligence network of elves.

Anyway, how have you been?  Are you well?  I'm assuming that your extreme isolation at the North Pole has shielded you from the pandemic, correct?  I would advise an extra layer of personal protective equipment this year as you venture from house to house, just as a note of caution.  From what I can tell, you're in one of the highest risk categories with advanced age.  2020 has already taken a large number of significant people away from us.  I'd die inside if it took you as well.  Please be safe.  You know, Amazon has these autonomous delivery drones that you might want to check out, although I can't imagine them being that helpful in delivering something like a barbecue grill.

Our outing to try and find alligators at Brazos Bend wasn't too fruitful...

As for us, we've had a fairly oscillating year, much like many others.  However, I'd be very ungrateful if I didn't mention how blessed our family has been during everything that has gone on.  We started the year off with a visit from Sarah's oldest brother and his family.  It was nice to see their family and it's remarkable how much their kids have grown.  Our kids love to spend time with their cousins.  We had the wonderful opportunity to share with them many of the things in Texas that we love and we were sad to see them leave.

Chef Bradley.  A no-Michelin-star chef.

This year Sarah and I decided to try and do more instead of having more.  One of the fun things we got to do was to do a cooking class for date night where we (attempted to) learn how to make a few British baked goods.  It definitely was a challenge, especially considering that the cooking instructor hadn't made the dishes herself.  However, we had fun enjoying a new experience.

Mordenkainen would be proud

One of the fun things I've been able to do this year is to introduce my children to the world of roleplaying games.  Last Christmas, as you remember, I received the complete set of rulebooks for Dungeons & Dragons, and thankfully none of them required me to convert religions to Satanism.  Although my kids are too young for the full thing, I managed to simplify things enough to make it easy for them to enjoy.  I've played with them on a few adventures and it's always fun to see how they decide to react to the situations I place them in.  They definitely are able to access the full depth of their imaginations.

You can never have enough miniatures.

The addition,  having a 3D printer has allowed me the ability to create way too many miniatures for our games.  It's more of a relaxing hobby for me rather than a requirement to play the games, but I have embraced it wholeheartedly.  You see, I really wanted to get into this stuff as a kid, but never had the resources to buy a bunch of lead figurines and lots of acrylic paints.  Now that I'm an adult, well, I've embraced my inner nerd fully without a care in the world as to how I am perceived.  I don't get to do it nearly enough, thanks to spending my evenings getting a little boy to go to sleep.  

The picture says it all...

The beginning of the year wasn't without a few challenges.  Sean had to have his tonsils out, due to reasons that I'll discuss later.  The recovery process, as you probably know, isn't too hard, but mainly tedious.  For about two weeks we had to alternate giving him either acetaminophen or ibuprofen every six hours to help him maintain the pain.  Additionally, he couldn't eat solid (or more accurately hard) foods for a while as well.  I don't know if this kid will ever eat pudding and yogurt again.

Camping at Sea Rim State Park on the coast

We had some wonderful times during the first few months, like when my oldest and I went camping on the Texas coast in somewhat chilly weather.  I love going camping with my kids, mainly because I get to spend some one-on-one time with them in addition to getting to teach them about the outdoors.  I don't want them to be totally helpless if they have to do without electricity or running water.  Also I want them to enjoy the beauty of the earth that surrounds them.

Bracing for impact

Well, you can guess what started happening in March.  Our kids went on spring break... then COVID added another week to their spring break.  Then another week.  Then I got sent home (with my work computer, thankfully) to be at home for a few weeks until things started to cool down...

Cosmic yoga

A few weeks turned into a few months, which has turned into the rest of the year.  We had to learn how to adapt to online school and online work, all while trying to keep ourselves and our friends safe from this unknown, unseen threat.

A much smaller space to practice in

Some things got more difficult, such as doing Taekwondo.  We were relegated to participating in our family room over an online connection.  Sometimes we understood what was going on, other times, we didn't.

Ranking up

However, we did manage to actually progress a bit, even though it was frustrating.  I think the hard part for the kids was the lack of consistent structure.  Even though they are free thinkers, they want someone to provide them with some structure to build upon.  Being left to their own online, often with lots of technical and organizational difficulties, made them feel isolated and confused.

Trying to teach about music and audio waveforms

It wasn't all bad.  Often there were many silver linings to our circumstances.  Although they were lacking their regular music teacher, I tried to step in and teach them a few things about how music is made.  One of these days I'll hopefully be able to get them to sit down for some lessons.

Brad's fix-it and repair shop

One of the nice things about working from home was that if the family needed me, I didn't have to wait in order to help them.  I could also come and share meals with my kids on a daily basis and even have them randomly come up to me during the day in order to just give me a hug.  If anyone at the office ever came up and give me a hug, I would really wonder.

Sean turns 7... with a bang!

Birthdays this year were also all pretty low key.  None of the kids had a party that consisted of anyone more than their immediate family members.  As I mentioned before, we've been realizing, after being stuck at home for long periods of time, more and more we wanted to do things rather than have things.

There is beauty all around...

I think one of the hardest things for me personally was that our church meetings were restricted for many months.  We did have the opportunity to do church at home, but I believe that I probably would have enjoyed it more had the kids been a little older.  As it was, our primary and sacrament meetings some days were only a few minutes long, mainly out of frustration on all parts.  I think they are all just too comfortable with Mom and Dad, rather than designated teachers.  Combine that with being at home for literally every other event in your life, and you've got a recipe for some wiggly kiddos.

Cooling off in the pool

Things sort of came to a frustrating head at the beginning of summer when the kids were officially done with school.  (They unofficially were done with school for about a month before.)  A prolonged lack of sleep due to a teething baby combined with a monotonous work schedule sent me into a downward mental spiral and I broke down under the pressures of being at home.  Seeing this, my caring, understanding wife took the kids up to Dallas to a friend's house for a few days so I could have some peace and quiet in addition to being able to get a lot of work done around the house. They had a great time up there and wound up playing in the pool a lot.  It was a decent way to start off the summer.

The waves rocked him to sleep

After the family came back I realized that we really needed a break together as a family.  We were supposed to go in June to a family reunion on my side of the family, but all travel plans continued to get cancelled.  It was during this time that I decided that, if we're going to go on a family trip, we should probably do it at a location that is filled with chlorine that would kill any pathogens that come our way.

Floating in the wave pool

So after the 4th of July weekend, I took time off of work and we spent a few nights at Great Wolf Lodge up in Dallas.  I had been wanting for a long time to go there with my kids, but couldn't justify the cost.  This finally provided me the chance to take our family on our first real fun-centered family vacation.

I am a fish.  Just ask my brothers.

Our visit there was fantastic, mostly because they limited their capacity to 30%.  We had a lot of room to do whatever water activity we wanted.  The kids had a blast and we made some fantastic memories.  I hope sometime in the future to be able to do some more fun things with them (like Disneyworld... when it goes back to normal).

Almost akin to "Lord of the Flies"

As summer approached its end, we had a difficult decision to make in regards to the kids' schooling for the next year.  After a lot of studying, thought, and prayer, we decided to make the choice to homeschool the kids.  (Well, it was mostly Sarah's decision since she was the one who was going to take the brunt of it all.)  Having made that decision, Sarah realized that she could make her own schedule and do school from anywhere she wanted.  


Adventure is out there

With this newfound freedom, she decided that she would venture out on a six week trip to Utah and Idaho to see the family we didn't get to see over the summer.  I thought she was crazy, but that she was also strong enough to do it.  So at the end of August, we bid adieu to each other and she managed to transport, teach, and care for the kids on her own.  I stayed home because, well, someone had to finance the whole thing.  Just when they left, however...

One tree cleaned up

So much debris

... a troublesome category 3 hurricane started forming in the gulf on a path that was likely to hit Houston.  I was faced with the decision of fleeing to somewhere safe, or hunkering down to ride out the storm.  After some consideration, I realized that I had a house full of food and emergency supplies, plenty to survive for a few weeks.  So I anxiously prepared everything around the house, awaiting the landfall of the hurricane that was going to bring such brutal winds and rain to the area that we would be without power for weeks... but it never reached me.  At the last minute the storm veered east and decimated Louisiana.  Consequentially, a few weeks later, I wound up heading out with a few other folks from church to do some cleanup.  If you don't know, Santa, Louisiana in September is abut as hot and humid as it can get.  I had to take short breaks in the shade every 20 minutes in order to keep from overheating.  We did what we could at the home we were assigned, but they had some big trees that were too large for us to haul away completely.  All in all, I hope we helped a bit.

Trapped in a rain covered tent!

After what seemed like forever, my little family finally got back home.  My youngest didn't recognize me at all at first, but eventually decided that I was okay.  Once we got settled back into a regular routine, I decided to start doing more adventurous things like taking the kids camping again.

Something lurking in the background

We've enjoyed quite a few activities together.  Now that they are doing homeschool, I have the chances on my days off to take them on field trips to let them enjoy and learn about the great outdoors.  We're still working through the kinks, but we'll figure out something.  We're now sliding into the holiday season with gratitude in our hearts that things have gone so well for us this year in spite of all that has been going on in the world.

Back when he was little

Well, enough about our adventures this year, Santa.  I'm sure you'd like to hear about the rest of the family and how they are doing.  We'll start off with the youngest, Malcolm.

Clone of Bradley

I think that this kid is the one who most closely resembles my genetic makeup.  If I look at pictures of myself as a baby and compare them to his pictures, I can't tell much of a difference.  It's almost like looking into a time-machine enabled mirror.

Check out the smolder

I think this kid was exactly what we needed to finish off our little family with.  He has such a fun and loving personality that I can never get enough of.

I'm sure he has a good point

He just turned one in October and has quickly learned that he now get into almost anything if he wants to.  However, he's quick to be obedient if you tell him that he shouldn't be doing something.  Quite often, whenever he sees me, he runs over to me to give me a big hug and a snuggle.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate those moments after a long, hard day at work.  So far he hasn't been able to communicate to us what he wants for Christmas, but I'm sure he'd be happy with even just a box of tissues or something.  I'll leave it up to you.

Golden sunshine

Next up we have our little Lucy.  I think I can best describe her as being fully invested in her choices.  If she loves something, she loves it passionately.  If she doesn't want to do something, it's impossible to convince her why it's a good idea to do it.  If she laughs, it's with her whole being.  If she cries, she feels it in her whole heart.  This little girl likes to live life to its fullest.

Goofy, yet sweet

I think homeschool has hit her pretty hard.  She was getting ready to go full time to Pre-K 4 this year and was disappointed that she wasn't going to get to go like her older brother and sister did.  In spite of all that, she has made some wonderful progress in her education.  She can read a few books and is working on all sorts of math and art skills.  She says that for Christmas she wants a pink bear, mainly because her other siblings all have teddy bears and she doesn't (even though she has tons of stuffed animals).  Again, I'll leave that to you.

Hey, Sean! Smile for the... okay, I guess you got it...

Next in line we have Sean.  This kid still likes to keep us on our toes.  He is interested in building, playing, learning, scheming, devising, inventing... you name it, he likes to do it.  He's pretty smart and has a frighteningly good memory.  I think he is having a hard time with homeschool mainly because he misses his friends and all the social interaction that comes with it.  I probably lose my patience the most with him because he tends to get distracted a lot.  However, he loves fiercely and is obedient to what we say... as soon as we can get him to pay attention enough to listen.

Could you sleep in that?

This little guy also has been through the medical ringer this year and has had more COVID tests than he would care to have in his lifetime.  You see, he snores like a congested pug at nights, which we could tell was making him very exhausted and not able to focus.  He was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea and we set about on a journey to discover what was going on.  After getting tonsils out, having a few throat scopes, and having multiple sleep studies, they finally determined that the cause of his troubles was due to having a tongue that grew faster than the rest of him.  So now, after a long, complicated process, he has a CPAP machine that he dutifully wears each night.  Ever since he started wearing that, I haven't heard him snore once.  In terms of behavior, I haven't seen a ton of improvement other than he has more energy to get distracted with.

Taking a stroll on the beach before another sleep study

If you'll remember, Santa, Sean asked for a drone and a hoverboard.  Given the thought that he might accidentally run over his little brother, I'd say it's probably okay to think of something else to bring.

Daddy daughter dates are the best.  So are fried pickles.

Finally we come to my oldest, Leah.  I can't tell you how appreciative I am that she is leading the way for the rest of the kids in the family.  She is loving, kind, and sweet.  She's probably helped out more than she'd like to when it comes to watching over Malcolm, but she has developed such a sweet bond with him.  It melts my heart to see how strong her motherly instincts are and it makes me proud when she makes righteous choices.

Nothing quite like an older sister to look out for you

You can rarely find this girl without a book or drawing instrument in her hands.  She can't get enough of reading, drawing, music, and anything else to engage her creative side. She hasn't really told us what she wants for Christmas, and, if you can believe this, she's starting to question your existence!  Every so often she'll describe to me ways that she'll spy on you during your visit to our home.  Sometimes she'll even flat our ask me if I'm Santa.  Preposterous!  She must have heard that nonsense in public school.  Glad we're homeschooling her now.  I'll leave it up to you to determine what to bring her.  Heaven knows that all too soon, I won't know how to handle her.

Pet sitting is one of her favorite pastimes

I learned something very important thing about my wife this year: She doesn't need me.  I don't mean that in a negative light.  I just learned exactly how strong, powerful, and yet patient my wife really is.  I watched her tackle online school, keeping kids entertained over the summer, and taking a six week long road trip with four kids by herself!  She's flabbergasts me with all that she does.  I break down quite often while she still moves forward.  The thing that warms my heart is to know that, in spite of my personal shortcomings, she still chooses me.  That boggles my mind most days, but I am forever grateful that she does choose me.  I can be pretty ridiculous.

I don't think I could ask for a better mom for my kids

She still loves doing all sorts of creative things like quilting, cooking, decorating our home, engaging in a good book, and seeing just how many people during the course of a week she can help.  I seriously don't know how she is able to tackle everything, but I am grateful to have her by my side.  I can't think of a better woman to compliment me in all the areas I consistently need help with.  She deserves whatever good things you can slip into her stocking this year.  That and a week's long vacation.

Wear a mask, they said...

As for me, 2020 has been a mixed bag.  I have mainly been inconvenienced, not devistated, by all the problems that have beset the world this year.  I'm still working at NASA, doing the same thing: making pretty pictures of things that don't exist.  My company's been good to me and I'm trying to make a definitive forward plan.  So much has been in flux over the past few years, but things in my career path have been a bit more defined as of late.  I still say that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up and that the perfect job for me probably hasn't been invented yet.

New COVID-19 attire

One thing about being home for so long was that I got the chance to flex a bit of creative muscle.  I worked way too long on my first cosplay costume.  However, it managed to turn some heads and I learned a great deal along the way.  I spent an embarrassingly long time 3D printing parts of the costume, but it turned out pretty good.  Not quite sure I'll have the time in the future to work on something like that, but it was a fun exercise.

Together

If you remember from last year, I spoke a great deal about my mental health issues and I wish I could say that things are better, but I can't.  I can just say that they're more of the same, but not any worse.  That's okay, though.  I lived 35 years previously without treating anything.  I'm sure that I can make the rest of my years on earth with the right management.  I know 2020 didn't help much in regards to my mental health.  The one thing that I appreciate is that many more people are willing to talk openly about the subject.  I hope that, in my sharing of my own personal struggles, that people don't pity me, but rather I lend an unseen hand to those who struggle in silence.  You know just how badly the global circumstances have hit people.  I just hope that those who suffer know they don't do it alone.

Happy Holidays from the Reynolds Family

So, Santa, I'm not quite sure where to go from here.  This year has really put us all through the ringer.  I think the hardest part, especially in the country where I live, is the utter dissolution of trust in leadership and authority.  Whether it be in politics, science, or other institutions, I think it's fair to say that people all over feel deceived.  The United States just went through one of the most volatile elections in recent history where both sides of the political spectrum were prompted and coerced to demonize anyone that didn't conform to their way of thinking. (If you ask some people, it's not over yet.) I've seen so much misery and vitriol this year that it's hard to sum up what to ask you for.  There's been so much darkness all year long thrown at us, that I believe many feel lost, listless, and without direction or purpose.  Heaven knows that sometimes I have felt similarly at times over the past year.



I guess, maybe, that's why I love Christmas so much.  It a time when we can bring light to the darkness.  The older I get, the more and more I appreciate the true celebration of Christmas.  Don't get me wrong, I love the presents and celebration.  I have to curb my desire to spoil my kids every year.  However, the older I get, the more I realize just how much I need the gift that was given to me two thousand years ago.  In the above video of "The Christ Child", at the very end it depicts the arrival of the wise men to the home of Jesus.  I am immensely impacted by the portrayal of the wise man as he meets the toddler Jesus.  This man, with all the powers and authority that the world could offer him, is utterly humbled when he is in the presence of the Savior of the world.  Even though this man could have everything, it is all nothing compared to the priceless gift of being freed from the pains and injustices that mortality imparts upon us.  It brings me to tears every time I watch it because I know oh so well the mistakes I consistently make and the darkness I have to wander through.  The peace of knowing that it isn't going to all be in vain lights my path, even in the darkest of nights.

So Santa, I guess my wish this year is for more light.  More light for myself.  More light for my family.  More light for the world.  I don't know how exactly you can bring that light to us, but I'm pretty sure that's what we need.  Every time I see the lights of my Christmas tree, I remind myself that during the time when it is the darkest outside, we go to great lengths to bring the light in.  Please help to bring us all some light.  Let it wash away the pains, hatred, and division that have plagued our lands.  Let it heal up the broken hearts and wipe away the tears.  Let it reunite the divided and isolated families.  Let it bring peace to those that have known nothing but heartache and turmoil this year.

Santa, I don't know how you can do it.  But I believe in you.

Sincerely,

-Brad

P.S. If we do meet on Christmas Eve, let's remember to stay 6 feet away from each other.

P.P.S. I'm not asking for a Jeager fighting robot this year because, quite frankly, I've run out of room at my house.

P.P.P.S. And for the love of all things toy-related, would you please get that poor kid a nerf gun.