Dear Santa Claus,
I'm writing you again after another year that I am honestly sure not how to categorize. There's been some good moments and some hard times, but somehow we got through it all. We'll get into that in a moment. In the meantime, how has your year been? We've been getting blasts of arctic air over the past few weeks even down here in Houston, so I have a feeling it's still cold up there at the North Pole. A friend of mine keeps posting pictures of the Northern Lights up in Alaska, so I can only imagine the light show you must get on a regular basis. Some day I hope to see them myself, but I'm a long ways away from being able to abandon my family for travel. Maybe next year (I'm kidding).
By the way, I've always wanted to ask you, what was it like to smack the ever loving atheism out of Arius at the council of Nicaea? I have to admit there are times when I've almost lost my cool to that extent as well, although not really in church. Well, maybe lately. I've been close sometimes. Also, you should know that someone has a set of human remains they are claiming to be yours and they are supposed to emit a sacred oil they're calling the "Manna of St. Nicholas." I would suggest sending them a cease and desist letter, seeing as we all know you're very alive and well there up north. Amid all of the rumors surrounding your legend, I find that to be the most disturbing.
Vi er et lykkelig par med skarpe våpen.
Anyway, I wanted to update you on the type of year we've had here. Sarah and I started off the year by celebrating our 14th anniversary. It was my turn to pick the venue and so we did dinner and axe throwing, which I thought was awesome and almost made me want to convert to the old Nordic gods. However, after an hour, my arms got tired and I decided maybe I would just be a one-in-a-while type of Viking. I don't know how Sarah puts up with me.
Sean learning some principles of engineering from his wise Uncle Doug
My brothers and I had been planning a little adventure with my dad for this year, but before we went to do it, we had the awesome chance to have them visit us here in Houston for a day. It is always great to have company, but it's extra special when that company happens to be the immediate family you grew up with. My brothers and I have a special bond that I can't explain, but appreciate immensely. It always warms my heart whenever my kids get the chance to interact with any of them, because they are all great men and have taught me so much about being kind, hard-working, and determined.
Truly weekend warriors
If you remember in last year's letter, I asked for some good weather for a helicopter hog hunting trip I had planned with my dad and brothers. Unfortunately, two days before the trip was supposed to start, Texas froze over and it snowed in our area. It was minor, but when it snows, everything shuts down, even the wildlife. We had a good time together on our trip, but it turned out to be a bust until the night hunt where we only got to shoot at one hog. I say, 'we', but really it was just three of my brothers. I was of no use. However, it was an experience I won't forget. It was my first time riding in a helicopter, and I was strapped to the side holding a fully-automatic AR-15. I shot at one coyote, but couldn't hit a darn thing. Shooting a fully automatic rifle for the first time while strapped to the open door of a helicopter probably isn't the best time to learn how to hit something in fully automatic. However, I was happy to spend time with my dad and brothers. Hopefully we can get a fishing trip in all together this next year. That one at least should be warmer.
Kids taking home awards from the Texas Beta Club State Convention
The kids continued to participate in Beta Club and competitions over the past year while participating in homeschooling. Additionally, they took a number of online courses through Ensign Peak Academy, where Sarah actually is working now. However, as we went further on this year with homeschooling, it was becoming more apparent that a change was going to be needed as our kids got older. After several months of thought and prayer, we made the decision to put the kids back into public school for the next year. In the meantime, we finished up with our current academics and made ourselves ready for a busy summer.
Checking out the mystery of Meow Wolf in Houston
One of the things I've become obsessed with over the past year is the company Meow Wolf. It's an interactive art collective that infuses technology throughout the installation to make it feel like you're in another world. There are currently five locations open for Meow Wolf and I've been to three of them in the past year. I have to warn you if you ever visit one, they're very weird. But they tickle my brain in a very specific way that makes me want to be creative myself. I've taken my kids to them as well for some of our outings, which has been a lot of fun. Sarah has, as of yet, to experience one, and I think she's fine with that.
Dusty, loud, and tired, but satisfied with being able to serve
The kids and I had a chance this year to join with an organization called "Sleep In Heavenly Peace" that was set up through our church. Their goal is to make sure that no child is without a bed in the Houston area. There was a large assembly line of things to do, so we spent our time sanding, drilling, and prepping the beds for final assembly. We weren't able to partake in the deliveries but it was nice to see my kids participating in service. They are so spoiled, but they shine when they get the chance to do something nice for others. Hopefully I can give them more opportunities in the future.
Jam session
My kids continue their musical journeys. Leah has continued playing the violin, and I always love hearing her practice. It makes me hope that somehow we can play something together one day. Sean continues to plink around on the piano, but actually has taught himself a few songs to play. Admittedly, they're all from the Legend of Zelda games, but they are still pretty good. And Lucy will practice the ukulele on occasion, although she hasn't had much time to perform in front of anyone. Malcolm loves to dance to any beat. Lately I've introduced them to the Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables, which has been filling the house for the past few months.
Let's go Astros!
This past spring we had a chance to go to our first Astros game together as an entire family. Sarah had taken the older kids before, but it was mine and Malcolm's first time there. He thought it was a fantastic time, although he had no idea what was going on with the game. He just cheered when everyone else did. We didn't stay for the whole game because it was on a Monday night and I needed to work the next day, but we stayed long enough to binge on peanuts, cracker jacks, hot dogs, and nachos. I can honestly say the baseball games might be the leading cause of most cases of indigestion.
Ending the day at the Saturn V
This summer while Leah was out of town at EFY, I had the chance to take the three youngest with me to NASA for "Bring Your Children to Work Day." I had never taken the opportunity to bring my kids over before, but I can honestly say that this was one of the best days I've had with my kids. They thought that working at JSC looked like one of the coolest places ever, although I had to tell them that it wasn't like this every day. I don't think they believed me. They got to see astronauts, play on simulators, and eat lots of treats. I was very grateful for the people who put that on so we could enjoy ourselves that day. When your kids think you do something amazing every day, it makes it a little easier to go to work on the hard days.
Sarah and Mom enjoying the world's most well known druid calendar
This summer Sarah had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go and visit the United Kingdom with her mother and brother. While she was worried that it might cause stress at home to be gone for three weeks, I assured her that if I had the chance to do it with my mother, I wouldn't hesitate to do so. They were on a whirlwind trip, but thankfully Sarah's brother slowed down the pace for his group. They spent a great deal of time in visiting castles, abbeys, pubs, and enjoying the culture of the country. I was so glad she got to go and spend some special one-on-one time with her mother.
Getting ready to explore the Real Unreal at Meow Wolf in Dallas
Because Sarah was gone this summer, it was up to me to bring the kids out for their annual trip out to Utah and Idaho. Because it was just going to be me doing it solo, I decided to take a little extra time instead of sprinting all the way there. We stopped for a bit in a few locations and did some tourist-type activities along the way. I think the kids enjoyed themselves.
Alien alleyways
While we were in Dallas, I made it a point to visit the Meow Wolf up there. It was incredible as usual, and this time we worked on discovering the hidden easter eggs that are littered around the exhibit.
Posing at the Oklahoma City Railroad Museum
We stopped at a few free railroad museums and attractions, but one of the things on my bucket list was to go to Dodge, Kansas. Mainly, I wanted to go there so we could say in the morning that we got the heck out of there. But the kids enjoyed touring the Boot Hill museum and enjoyed the dinner show there. I can say that the talent pool of Dodge City is pretty shallow, but they all still did a great job. Overall, I just wanted to create memories that my kids would enjoy.
Lucy loving on Aunt Taunie's baby goats
When we got to Utah, we spent some time visiting family. It was always great to see Mark and Doug's family. We were even able to be there for our nephew Kaden's mission farewell. I don't get to have family engagements very often, so I try my best to take advantage of the chances my kids have to interact with their relatives.
My little pioneer lady
We had the opportunity to go up to Brigham City and spend time with Sarah's brother and his family for Pioneer Day. The kids always love spending time with their cousins, and it was nice to see people who had deep roots in their traditions. It makes me nostalgic for my youth back in Utah.
It was tragic to see a fire of this scale in a place that I love so dearly
We had plans over the summer to go spend some time at Fish Lake with my dad while we were in Utah, but the Monroe Mountain Fire had other plans. We made it to the cabin, but less than 24 hours later they shut off the power to the area while the fire burned past the power poles. After some debate and mostly realizing that we wouldn't have a fridge or hot water, we decided to bug out and get back up to Roy. We were pretty bummed out by that, and I can say that it deeply affected me. Fish Lake is one of the few places where I feel like I can truly be restored to peace and I really needed it this year.
Taking them to see history
Since we had some time back in northern Utah before we had to head back to Texas, I decided to spend time taking the kids to see some of the sites around where I grew up. The boys enjoyed the Air Force museum and liked seeing the planes up close. The kids also got to enjoy Ogden's Union Station, although they really just wanted to ride on the trains. I guess I did do a lot of train-related activities this trip...
Anyone know what the statute of limitations are for punching anthropomorphic beavers?
We made it back to Texas with a week to spare before enrolling the kids in public school. We were exhausted and I came back feeling like I didn't really have a break. Either way, we had to persist onward with our plans and get everyone onto a new schedule.
Don't buy GE dishwashers
The night before Malcolm was supposed to start kindergarten, I walked downstairs to find a giant puddle on the floor of the kitchen. After some investigation, I discovered that our dishwasher had a catastrophic failure and leaked out sometime toward the end of its last cycle. Santa, I don't know if you can get the word out, but I highly recommend against getting GE appliances. I wound up having to pull up the new flooring I had put in the year before and letting it dry out underneath. Thankfully, nothing was permanently damaged and we were able to get everything all put back together, although it was incredibly inconvenient.
Enjoying some donuts with adults!
The kids had to do some adjustment to actually being on a schedule for a change, but they eventually got into the rhythm of going to school. Malcolm and Lucy have been enjoying being around other kids their age, and Malcolm really loves his kindergarten teacher. Leah and Sean, however, had a bit of a rough start. We had enrolled them into a magnet school with a specific program aimed at the gifted and talented kids. However, during the first month we had lots of issues with the pacing of the program and the kids would stay up to at least nine o'clock at night (sometimes 11PM) completing homework on a daily basis. After lots of crisis and burnout for all of us, we made the difficult decision to unenroll them from the program. Unfortunately, because of this, they had to leave the magnet school and went back to their neighborhood school. It was a bit of a rough transition because they had made lots of good relationships with some of the teachers and students. However, it wasn't something we were going to be able to keep up as a family. Now that they're in their regular school, they are doing very well, and rarely have homework keeping them up at night, which is how it should be.
Lucy wanted to be the SLS this year. She didn't know what the SLS was when she decided that.
I have had a hard time having the desire to celebrate holidays this year. Because of certain circumstances (more on that later), I have had to simplify activities and schedules to make life easier. As such, I haven't been able to do things like make elaborate Halloween costumes, carve fancy pumpkins, or make gingerbread houses. It's made me feel like a bit of a grump, although I hope people know that I have desires to do those things, just no ability to execute them.
Grandfather vs. Grandson
Thankfully, I have a few people to help with that. My dad has always been there for me, but especially so after my Mom passed away. I guess we've had to be there for each other, although I don't know what I can do for him except give him my time. He came out to visit us for Thanksgiving this year and we spent the week together just finishing up projects on my house that I have been meaning to get done, but have not had the opportunity to do so. It cleared up a bit of a mental logjam in my head and now I don't have to stare at the long list of items that need to be done. I can't tell you how grateful I am that he made time to come and do that. It has freed me up to continue work on the things I really want to do.
I suppose that covers everything for this year that we've done so far, so let me tell you about how each of us are doing. Maybe you'll get some ideas for what to put in their stockings.
His teacher won't admit it, but he's her favorite
Malcolm is always (well mostly) such a happy and loving kid. Lately he has been really into playing games, partly because he really enjoys the interaction with other people. Don't tell anyone, but so far I've lost most games of checkers to him. He is so well behaved in his kindergarten class and we keep getting told that he is a great example for other kids.
This kid gives into peer pressure so easily...
My Lucy Goose
Lucy has been adjusting to school and has been doing very well in her classes. She gets frustrated some days, but that is mainly due to the choices of her classmates. She just got results that she'll be in the gifted and talented program in elementary school, which should be good for her. I know that a lot of the time this year she's been fairly bored with the homework she's been given.
Practicing her icing skills in preparation for a Beta Club competition
One of the things that she has really taken up this past year is baking. It's nice to be able to just ask her if she'll make me cookies and she can do it all without any help. Well, she does need some extra encouragement sometimes to finish cleaning up after she's done cooking. But she's our little baker and has no problem whipping up stuff in the kitchen. It has been fun to watch her confidence grow in the kitchen.
My little chum
Where to begin with Sean? He's still the kind and gentle soul he's always been. I am 99.5% certain he'll be in some sort of engineering career in the future, as every single one of his interests involve something that is tangential to any type of engineering. He has been adjusting well to his new school and has really jumped into a number of subjects feet first. One of my favorite things I've seen him do was writing a monologue for his drama class. They were supposed to be writing backstories for their superhero characters, but he decided he wanted to be a supervillain called "The Procrastinator." His character would likely be one of the most dangerous supervillains in the world if he could only get the desire to actually follow through with his evil plans. I got the chance to watch him perform this in front of an audience and I have to say that he was the most entertaining performer to watch that night.
One day he got bored and built a working record player out of household items. I didn't help him at all.
One of the things we learned about Sean this past year is that he is on the autism spectrum, which really didn't come as a surprise as we looked back on things. He has a lot of sensitivities to certain stimuli, and some situations can make him very uncomfortable. We've learned that he has a few challenges ahead of him, but also acknowledge that he has lots of other gifts that he's been given in the meantime to help affect the world for good. His mind is amazing and I am impressed by the things that he can do that I couldn't comprehend at his age. He really is my little buddy and I am grateful for all the good he does in my life.
My Leah Lou
My oldest, Leah, continues to navigate the challenges of being a teenager and getting adjusted to being in a new type of learning situation among peers who may or may not have the motivation to better themselves in the future. However, she has taken it like a champ. She turned fourteen this year, and I really can't believe that I've got an authentic teenager in the house. In terms of teenage girls, she's probably on the calm end of the spectrum, although we've all see the effects of untethered hormones. Again, she's handling it like a champ.
Enjoying one last springtime adventure
If there is a baby anywhere nearby, this lady will find it and snuggle it until it falls asleep
My wife continues to be amazing and kind to everyone. She seeks out any opportunity to serve neighbors, friends, and fellow congregants at church. Over the past year she has been working as an online instructor and mentor for Ensign Peak Academy and has been loving interacting with the kids. Navigating the schedules of four kids across two different schools has been hard to do, but she keeps up with it every day. I wouldn't want anyone else for the mom of my kiddos.
Enjoying King's Cross Station and platform 9 & 3/4
I'm glad Sarah's had some extra time with her mother this year for both of their sakes. Her mother has had to have two knee replacement surgeries in the past year, and Sarah has had the opportunity to go out and take care of her. Sarah herself will need some foot surgery coming up, so her mom will come to "return the favor." But, let's face it, we'd do anything for our parents without hoping for anything in return. I just wish there wasn't a thousand miles between us so it would be easier to accomplish that.
A good start to a little getaway
We had a short getaway in the spring this year. Just an overnight trip together without kids to reconnect. It helped me to remember and appreciate this woman I have the opportunity to share my life with. I've learned a few things about myself this past year and she has been patient with me as I have had to make adjustments through it all. I love her so much and always hope I can make her life better every day.
Clueless as always
As for me, I continue to navigate mortality as best as I can. Working at NASA continues to be the best fit for me at the moment, because I love space, robots, and spaceships. I sometimes forget where I work until the moment when I walk past an astronaut or see a piece of space history. I am hoping I can make my own unique mark here at Johnson Space Center. I've started a few initiatives that have been well accepted by my customers and I am grateful that I have had the chance to work with people that give me a chance to try new things.
"Courage," my digital painting of Neil Armstrong
One of the things I have had the desire to do more of this next year is to be more creative in my spare time rather than distracting myself. Thankfully this past weekend I put down the final coat of paint on my home renovation project that I've been struggling through the past two years. That freed up my mind to start thinking of all the things I could be working on in woodworking, 3D printing, and art. I truly feel an insatiable desire to be creative all the time, but recently have been lacking in energy and motivation to do so.
Trying to get some sun on the beach when the weather is nice
Speaking of motivation, I am hoping to give my kids better memories this coming year. I am needing to slow things down and do less with my time in terms of personal activities. It feels like there wasn't a spare moment this year to really have time with the kids like I used to. Additionally, this year has been a tough one in terms of my mental health journey. At the beginning of the year I was feeling pretty good, so I decided to try and see how my body handled things without medication. That was my first big mistake. I went through significant withdrawals that were exceptionally bad due to what is termed as "brain zaps." It's not a fun thing to go through where anytime you turn your head or eyes your brain feels like it gets an electric shock. Those symptoms lasted for almost six weeks and I decided that wasn't going to be able to face life without medication, especially during the stress of raising a relatively young family.
As I was struggling through finding a medication regimen that helped me to funcion I fell down into one of the worst bouts of depression I've ever been through in my life. I couldn't find the energy to stay awake, but still couldn't find the peace to fall asleep. It was so frustrating and I had no idea when it would end. During this time it was when we got Sean's diagnosis for ASD. As I began to research more about autism and neurodivergency, I began to realize something: This was all very, very personally familiar.
The picture of my life started coming into focus: high scoring in academics, an inability to stop dreaming, speaking 65% through movie quotes, an unhealthy obsession with They Might Be Giants, the ability to recite from memory almost every Monty Python sketch ever recorded... I could go on for a long time on a list of things that lined up. Not only that, I started reading up about a condition called 'autistic burnout,' which pretty much described to the letter the symptoms I've been experiencing for several years. I decided to take multiple online RAADS-R tests which all came back with the result of "High likelihood of autism." So I decided to go back to therapy to try and learn how to live my life with this new revelation. Thankfully, my therapist has two children on the spectrum herself, so she knows exactly how to instruct me on the areas I'm screwing up in my life. As a result of this, I've had to significantly scale back my activities and expectations of what I can do on a day-to-day basis. Trying to fit in to what the world deems as "normal" doesn't work for me anymore and I just have to be me.
I have been struggling to both accept this new part of my life as well as trying to figure out what it means for my family. I want to be mad that I lived 43 years of my life without knowing this, but the truth is that society just didn't know about these things when I was younger. It wasn't until the past decade or so that we understand more about what fits under the umbrella of autism. I am grateful that the neurodivergence that my family experiences doesn't significantly impact their ability to be independent, but I do understand just how much this world isn't built to accommodate those with these sensitivities. One thing that I have learned with neurodivergence is that, even though it's often stated as being a spectrum, it's more like a piano keyboard. You aren't on one end or another, but rather have various individual notes that are being played. Your ability to function often depends on how many of those notes are being played at once. I have much, much more sympathy for those parents whose children will be relying on them for support for all their lives. Dealing with what I deal with is hard enough. I can't imagine more being tacked onto it.
No matter how old they get, they'll still fall asleep on you
So, Santa, if you haven't seen through your network of surveillance elves, I'm tired. It's been an exhausting journey this year. I have an analogy that I like to use in this circumstance. When my grandfather was building our family's first one-room cabin by hand in the early 1900s, he started to dig the hole for the foundation for the bedroom. As he dug, he found a rock. As he dug further, the rock got bigger. Eventually he dug enough and discovered that this rock was actually a four foot wide boulder. Seeing this dilemma, he decided the best solution would be to just build up over that spot. As a result the layout of the cabin was such that if you wanted to go to the bathroom, you had to step up into the bedroom, then back down to the bathroom. It stayed like that for decades until my parents inherited the cabin in 2000. My dad decided to remodel the cabin and one of the results was that the boulder that was under the bedroom was finally excavated. In regards to my own mental health journey, I believe I have finally discovered the boulder that was under all of the anxiety, depression, and fatigue. Unearthing it has been exhausting, but finally having an underlying reason and understanding of why it won't ever permanently go away has been eye-opening. My only concern now is that my children who I know are on the spectrum get the support they need so they don't go through the same struggles I have gone through.
The reason for the season
So Santa, this year I don't know if I really want anything in particular other than time to be creative and spend with my family. I have plenty of tools and art supplies, just no time. I feel like I've lost out on time due to how things have unfolded this year. I don't know if you've managed to invent a temporal stretching device yet at the North Pole, (you know... the kind you use for visiting everyone's house on Christmas Eve without being incinerated by air friction due to the amount of distance you have to travel) but if you have one, I'll take it. If not one of those (I know you have one), maybe making something to help me soak in and appreciate the tender moments that pass along in my life. I feel like my eyes have been blind to that this year, and I'd really appreciate the ability to enjoy my time, just not to endure it. Either way, I hope I can really feel the meaning of the season this year. It's been pretty dim in my heart this year, but I've held out hope that I can feel the warmth of it again. If there's any way to package that up and put it in a stocking this year I'll take it.
Please fly carefully this year. I have no idea what the weather will be like. It's currently oscillating between freezing and bikini weather on a daily basis here in Houston. Dress accordingly and hopefully I'll see you on Christmas Eve.
Sincerely,
-Brad Reynolds
P.S. Insert obligatory kaiju-fighting Jeager mech request here.
P.P.S. The kids were robbed of their cabin time due to the fire this summer, so if you can swing any sort of replacement, we would appreciate it.
P.P.P.S. No political statements here, but I trust your judgement on which politicians' stockings you're taking to the reindeer stalls to fill up this Christmas Eve.
