12/11/20

Dear Santa: An Open Letter in 2020

 Dear Santa,

(Sigh)... Where do we begin?  There's no mincing words that this year has been a rough one.  I'll go so far as to even qualify that this year was the hardest I've seen during my relatively brief lifetime.  I'm sure you're no stranger to the chaos that has enveloped the globe, given your extensive intelligence network of elves.

Anyway, how have you been?  Are you well?  I'm assuming that your extreme isolation at the North Pole has shielded you from the pandemic, correct?  I would advise an extra layer of personal protective equipment this year as you venture from house to house, just as a note of caution.  From what I can tell, you're in one of the highest risk categories with advanced age.  2020 has already taken a large number of significant people away from us.  I'd die inside if it took you as well.  Please be safe.  You know, Amazon has these autonomous delivery drones that you might want to check out, although I can't imagine them being that helpful in delivering something like a barbecue grill.

Our outing to try and find alligators at Brazos Bend wasn't too fruitful...

As for us, we've had a fairly oscillating year, much like many others.  However, I'd be very ungrateful if I didn't mention how blessed our family has been during everything that has gone on.  We started the year off with a visit from Sarah's oldest brother and his family.  It was nice to see their family and it's remarkable how much their kids have grown.  Our kids love to spend time with their cousins.  We had the wonderful opportunity to share with them many of the things in Texas that we love and we were sad to see them leave.

Chef Bradley.  A no-Michelin-star chef.

This year Sarah and I decided to try and do more instead of having more.  One of the fun things we got to do was to do a cooking class for date night where we (attempted to) learn how to make a few British baked goods.  It definitely was a challenge, especially considering that the cooking instructor hadn't made the dishes herself.  However, we had fun enjoying a new experience.

Mordenkainen would be proud

One of the fun things I've been able to do this year is to introduce my children to the world of roleplaying games.  Last Christmas, as you remember, I received the complete set of rulebooks for Dungeons & Dragons, and thankfully none of them required me to convert religions to Satanism.  Although my kids are too young for the full thing, I managed to simplify things enough to make it easy for them to enjoy.  I've played with them on a few adventures and it's always fun to see how they decide to react to the situations I place them in.  They definitely are able to access the full depth of their imaginations.

You can never have enough miniatures.

The addition,  having a 3D printer has allowed me the ability to create way too many miniatures for our games.  It's more of a relaxing hobby for me rather than a requirement to play the games, but I have embraced it wholeheartedly.  You see, I really wanted to get into this stuff as a kid, but never had the resources to buy a bunch of lead figurines and lots of acrylic paints.  Now that I'm an adult, well, I've embraced my inner nerd fully without a care in the world as to how I am perceived.  I don't get to do it nearly enough, thanks to spending my evenings getting a little boy to go to sleep.  

The picture says it all...

The beginning of the year wasn't without a few challenges.  Sean had to have his tonsils out, due to reasons that I'll discuss later.  The recovery process, as you probably know, isn't too hard, but mainly tedious.  For about two weeks we had to alternate giving him either acetaminophen or ibuprofen every six hours to help him maintain the pain.  Additionally, he couldn't eat solid (or more accurately hard) foods for a while as well.  I don't know if this kid will ever eat pudding and yogurt again.

Camping at Sea Rim State Park on the coast

We had some wonderful times during the first few months, like when my oldest and I went camping on the Texas coast in somewhat chilly weather.  I love going camping with my kids, mainly because I get to spend some one-on-one time with them in addition to getting to teach them about the outdoors.  I don't want them to be totally helpless if they have to do without electricity or running water.  Also I want them to enjoy the beauty of the earth that surrounds them.

Bracing for impact

Well, you can guess what started happening in March.  Our kids went on spring break... then COVID added another week to their spring break.  Then another week.  Then I got sent home (with my work computer, thankfully) to be at home for a few weeks until things started to cool down...

Cosmic yoga

A few weeks turned into a few months, which has turned into the rest of the year.  We had to learn how to adapt to online school and online work, all while trying to keep ourselves and our friends safe from this unknown, unseen threat.

A much smaller space to practice in

Some things got more difficult, such as doing Taekwondo.  We were relegated to participating in our family room over an online connection.  Sometimes we understood what was going on, other times, we didn't.

Ranking up

However, we did manage to actually progress a bit, even though it was frustrating.  I think the hard part for the kids was the lack of consistent structure.  Even though they are free thinkers, they want someone to provide them with some structure to build upon.  Being left to their own online, often with lots of technical and organizational difficulties, made them feel isolated and confused.

Trying to teach about music and audio waveforms

It wasn't all bad.  Often there were many silver linings to our circumstances.  Although they were lacking their regular music teacher, I tried to step in and teach them a few things about how music is made.  One of these days I'll hopefully be able to get them to sit down for some lessons.

Brad's fix-it and repair shop

One of the nice things about working from home was that if the family needed me, I didn't have to wait in order to help them.  I could also come and share meals with my kids on a daily basis and even have them randomly come up to me during the day in order to just give me a hug.  If anyone at the office ever came up and give me a hug, I would really wonder.

Sean turns 7... with a bang!

Birthdays this year were also all pretty low key.  None of the kids had a party that consisted of anyone more than their immediate family members.  As I mentioned before, we've been realizing, after being stuck at home for long periods of time, more and more we wanted to do things rather than have things.

There is beauty all around...

I think one of the hardest things for me personally was that our church meetings were restricted for many months.  We did have the opportunity to do church at home, but I believe that I probably would have enjoyed it more had the kids been a little older.  As it was, our primary and sacrament meetings some days were only a few minutes long, mainly out of frustration on all parts.  I think they are all just too comfortable with Mom and Dad, rather than designated teachers.  Combine that with being at home for literally every other event in your life, and you've got a recipe for some wiggly kiddos.

Cooling off in the pool

Things sort of came to a frustrating head at the beginning of summer when the kids were officially done with school.  (They unofficially were done with school for about a month before.)  A prolonged lack of sleep due to a teething baby combined with a monotonous work schedule sent me into a downward mental spiral and I broke down under the pressures of being at home.  Seeing this, my caring, understanding wife took the kids up to Dallas to a friend's house for a few days so I could have some peace and quiet in addition to being able to get a lot of work done around the house. They had a great time up there and wound up playing in the pool a lot.  It was a decent way to start off the summer.

The waves rocked him to sleep

After the family came back I realized that we really needed a break together as a family.  We were supposed to go in June to a family reunion on my side of the family, but all travel plans continued to get cancelled.  It was during this time that I decided that, if we're going to go on a family trip, we should probably do it at a location that is filled with chlorine that would kill any pathogens that come our way.

Floating in the wave pool

So after the 4th of July weekend, I took time off of work and we spent a few nights at Great Wolf Lodge up in Dallas.  I had been wanting for a long time to go there with my kids, but couldn't justify the cost.  This finally provided me the chance to take our family on our first real fun-centered family vacation.

I am a fish.  Just ask my brothers.

Our visit there was fantastic, mostly because they limited their capacity to 30%.  We had a lot of room to do whatever water activity we wanted.  The kids had a blast and we made some fantastic memories.  I hope sometime in the future to be able to do some more fun things with them (like Disneyworld... when it goes back to normal).

Almost akin to "Lord of the Flies"

As summer approached its end, we had a difficult decision to make in regards to the kids' schooling for the next year.  After a lot of studying, thought, and prayer, we decided to make the choice to homeschool the kids.  (Well, it was mostly Sarah's decision since she was the one who was going to take the brunt of it all.)  Having made that decision, Sarah realized that she could make her own schedule and do school from anywhere she wanted.  


Adventure is out there

With this newfound freedom, she decided that she would venture out on a six week trip to Utah and Idaho to see the family we didn't get to see over the summer.  I thought she was crazy, but that she was also strong enough to do it.  So at the end of August, we bid adieu to each other and she managed to transport, teach, and care for the kids on her own.  I stayed home because, well, someone had to finance the whole thing.  Just when they left, however...

One tree cleaned up

So much debris

... a troublesome category 3 hurricane started forming in the gulf on a path that was likely to hit Houston.  I was faced with the decision of fleeing to somewhere safe, or hunkering down to ride out the storm.  After some consideration, I realized that I had a house full of food and emergency supplies, plenty to survive for a few weeks.  So I anxiously prepared everything around the house, awaiting the landfall of the hurricane that was going to bring such brutal winds and rain to the area that we would be without power for weeks... but it never reached me.  At the last minute the storm veered east and decimated Louisiana.  Consequentially, a few weeks later, I wound up heading out with a few other folks from church to do some cleanup.  If you don't know, Santa, Louisiana in September is abut as hot and humid as it can get.  I had to take short breaks in the shade every 20 minutes in order to keep from overheating.  We did what we could at the home we were assigned, but they had some big trees that were too large for us to haul away completely.  All in all, I hope we helped a bit.

Trapped in a rain covered tent!

After what seemed like forever, my little family finally got back home.  My youngest didn't recognize me at all at first, but eventually decided that I was okay.  Once we got settled back into a regular routine, I decided to start doing more adventurous things like taking the kids camping again.

Something lurking in the background

We've enjoyed quite a few activities together.  Now that they are doing homeschool, I have the chances on my days off to take them on field trips to let them enjoy and learn about the great outdoors.  We're still working through the kinks, but we'll figure out something.  We're now sliding into the holiday season with gratitude in our hearts that things have gone so well for us this year in spite of all that has been going on in the world.

Back when he was little

Well, enough about our adventures this year, Santa.  I'm sure you'd like to hear about the rest of the family and how they are doing.  We'll start off with the youngest, Malcolm.

Clone of Bradley

I think that this kid is the one who most closely resembles my genetic makeup.  If I look at pictures of myself as a baby and compare them to his pictures, I can't tell much of a difference.  It's almost like looking into a time-machine enabled mirror.

Check out the smolder

I think this kid was exactly what we needed to finish off our little family with.  He has such a fun and loving personality that I can never get enough of.

I'm sure he has a good point

He just turned one in October and has quickly learned that he now get into almost anything if he wants to.  However, he's quick to be obedient if you tell him that he shouldn't be doing something.  Quite often, whenever he sees me, he runs over to me to give me a big hug and a snuggle.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate those moments after a long, hard day at work.  So far he hasn't been able to communicate to us what he wants for Christmas, but I'm sure he'd be happy with even just a box of tissues or something.  I'll leave it up to you.

Golden sunshine

Next up we have our little Lucy.  I think I can best describe her as being fully invested in her choices.  If she loves something, she loves it passionately.  If she doesn't want to do something, it's impossible to convince her why it's a good idea to do it.  If she laughs, it's with her whole being.  If she cries, she feels it in her whole heart.  This little girl likes to live life to its fullest.

Goofy, yet sweet

I think homeschool has hit her pretty hard.  She was getting ready to go full time to Pre-K 4 this year and was disappointed that she wasn't going to get to go like her older brother and sister did.  In spite of all that, she has made some wonderful progress in her education.  She can read a few books and is working on all sorts of math and art skills.  She says that for Christmas she wants a pink bear, mainly because her other siblings all have teddy bears and she doesn't (even though she has tons of stuffed animals).  Again, I'll leave that to you.

Hey, Sean! Smile for the... okay, I guess you got it...

Next in line we have Sean.  This kid still likes to keep us on our toes.  He is interested in building, playing, learning, scheming, devising, inventing... you name it, he likes to do it.  He's pretty smart and has a frighteningly good memory.  I think he is having a hard time with homeschool mainly because he misses his friends and all the social interaction that comes with it.  I probably lose my patience the most with him because he tends to get distracted a lot.  However, he loves fiercely and is obedient to what we say... as soon as we can get him to pay attention enough to listen.

Could you sleep in that?

This little guy also has been through the medical ringer this year and has had more COVID tests than he would care to have in his lifetime.  You see, he snores like a congested pug at nights, which we could tell was making him very exhausted and not able to focus.  He was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea and we set about on a journey to discover what was going on.  After getting tonsils out, having a few throat scopes, and having multiple sleep studies, they finally determined that the cause of his troubles was due to having a tongue that grew faster than the rest of him.  So now, after a long, complicated process, he has a CPAP machine that he dutifully wears each night.  Ever since he started wearing that, I haven't heard him snore once.  In terms of behavior, I haven't seen a ton of improvement other than he has more energy to get distracted with.

Taking a stroll on the beach before another sleep study

If you'll remember, Santa, Sean asked for a drone and a hoverboard.  Given the thought that he might accidentally run over his little brother, I'd say it's probably okay to think of something else to bring.

Daddy daughter dates are the best.  So are fried pickles.

Finally we come to my oldest, Leah.  I can't tell you how appreciative I am that she is leading the way for the rest of the kids in the family.  She is loving, kind, and sweet.  She's probably helped out more than she'd like to when it comes to watching over Malcolm, but she has developed such a sweet bond with him.  It melts my heart to see how strong her motherly instincts are and it makes me proud when she makes righteous choices.

Nothing quite like an older sister to look out for you

You can rarely find this girl without a book or drawing instrument in her hands.  She can't get enough of reading, drawing, music, and anything else to engage her creative side. She hasn't really told us what she wants for Christmas, and, if you can believe this, she's starting to question your existence!  Every so often she'll describe to me ways that she'll spy on you during your visit to our home.  Sometimes she'll even flat our ask me if I'm Santa.  Preposterous!  She must have heard that nonsense in public school.  Glad we're homeschooling her now.  I'll leave it up to you to determine what to bring her.  Heaven knows that all too soon, I won't know how to handle her.

Pet sitting is one of her favorite pastimes

I learned something very important thing about my wife this year: She doesn't need me.  I don't mean that in a negative light.  I just learned exactly how strong, powerful, and yet patient my wife really is.  I watched her tackle online school, keeping kids entertained over the summer, and taking a six week long road trip with four kids by herself!  She's flabbergasts me with all that she does.  I break down quite often while she still moves forward.  The thing that warms my heart is to know that, in spite of my personal shortcomings, she still chooses me.  That boggles my mind most days, but I am forever grateful that she does choose me.  I can be pretty ridiculous.

I don't think I could ask for a better mom for my kids

She still loves doing all sorts of creative things like quilting, cooking, decorating our home, engaging in a good book, and seeing just how many people during the course of a week she can help.  I seriously don't know how she is able to tackle everything, but I am grateful to have her by my side.  I can't think of a better woman to compliment me in all the areas I consistently need help with.  She deserves whatever good things you can slip into her stocking this year.  That and a week's long vacation.

Wear a mask, they said...

As for me, 2020 has been a mixed bag.  I have mainly been inconvenienced, not devistated, by all the problems that have beset the world this year.  I'm still working at NASA, doing the same thing: making pretty pictures of things that don't exist.  My company's been good to me and I'm trying to make a definitive forward plan.  So much has been in flux over the past few years, but things in my career path have been a bit more defined as of late.  I still say that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up and that the perfect job for me probably hasn't been invented yet.

New COVID-19 attire

One thing about being home for so long was that I got the chance to flex a bit of creative muscle.  I worked way too long on my first cosplay costume.  However, it managed to turn some heads and I learned a great deal along the way.  I spent an embarrassingly long time 3D printing parts of the costume, but it turned out pretty good.  Not quite sure I'll have the time in the future to work on something like that, but it was a fun exercise.

Together

If you remember from last year, I spoke a great deal about my mental health issues and I wish I could say that things are better, but I can't.  I can just say that they're more of the same, but not any worse.  That's okay, though.  I lived 35 years previously without treating anything.  I'm sure that I can make the rest of my years on earth with the right management.  I know 2020 didn't help much in regards to my mental health.  The one thing that I appreciate is that many more people are willing to talk openly about the subject.  I hope that, in my sharing of my own personal struggles, that people don't pity me, but rather I lend an unseen hand to those who struggle in silence.  You know just how badly the global circumstances have hit people.  I just hope that those who suffer know they don't do it alone.

Happy Holidays from the Reynolds Family

So, Santa, I'm not quite sure where to go from here.  This year has really put us all through the ringer.  I think the hardest part, especially in the country where I live, is the utter dissolution of trust in leadership and authority.  Whether it be in politics, science, or other institutions, I think it's fair to say that people all over feel deceived.  The United States just went through one of the most volatile elections in recent history where both sides of the political spectrum were prompted and coerced to demonize anyone that didn't conform to their way of thinking. (If you ask some people, it's not over yet.) I've seen so much misery and vitriol this year that it's hard to sum up what to ask you for.  There's been so much darkness all year long thrown at us, that I believe many feel lost, listless, and without direction or purpose.  Heaven knows that sometimes I have felt similarly at times over the past year.



I guess, maybe, that's why I love Christmas so much.  It a time when we can bring light to the darkness.  The older I get, the more and more I appreciate the true celebration of Christmas.  Don't get me wrong, I love the presents and celebration.  I have to curb my desire to spoil my kids every year.  However, the older I get, the more I realize just how much I need the gift that was given to me two thousand years ago.  In the above video of "The Christ Child", at the very end it depicts the arrival of the wise men to the home of Jesus.  I am immensely impacted by the portrayal of the wise man as he meets the toddler Jesus.  This man, with all the powers and authority that the world could offer him, is utterly humbled when he is in the presence of the Savior of the world.  Even though this man could have everything, it is all nothing compared to the priceless gift of being freed from the pains and injustices that mortality imparts upon us.  It brings me to tears every time I watch it because I know oh so well the mistakes I consistently make and the darkness I have to wander through.  The peace of knowing that it isn't going to all be in vain lights my path, even in the darkest of nights.

So Santa, I guess my wish this year is for more light.  More light for myself.  More light for my family.  More light for the world.  I don't know how exactly you can bring that light to us, but I'm pretty sure that's what we need.  Every time I see the lights of my Christmas tree, I remind myself that during the time when it is the darkest outside, we go to great lengths to bring the light in.  Please help to bring us all some light.  Let it wash away the pains, hatred, and division that have plagued our lands.  Let it heal up the broken hearts and wipe away the tears.  Let it reunite the divided and isolated families.  Let it bring peace to those that have known nothing but heartache and turmoil this year.

Santa, I don't know how you can do it.  But I believe in you.

Sincerely,

-Brad

P.S. If we do meet on Christmas Eve, let's remember to stay 6 feet away from each other.

P.P.S. I'm not asking for a Jeager fighting robot this year because, quite frankly, I've run out of room at my house.

P.P.P.S. And for the love of all things toy-related, would you please get that poor kid a nerf gun.

12/23/19

Dear Santa - An Open Letter to 2019

Dear Santa,

Another year has come to pass and once again I find myself penning (well, typing, actually) another message your way.  This year has been filled with various ups and downs, but I seem to be on my feet as we approach Christmas, so that is nice.  How are you doing up at the North Pole?  I'm still waiting to hear if climate change has reached your workshop yet.  I certainly hope you are staying afloat of things, both figuratively and literally.

The capitol building in Austin, TX

This year has been quite the eventful year with plenty that has left us feeling both rewarded and exhausted.  Sarah and I started off the year with a short anniversary trip to Austin.  Neither of us had ever been before and we thought it was important that we experience the capitol of our beloved state firsthand.  Needless to say, the town lived up to its motto of "Keep Austin Weird."  I kept thinking to myself that someone had spilled some San Francisco on my Texas.  Either way, we had a nice weekend to ourselves away from the kids.

They truly are magical

We have discovered many things about Texas that we really enjoy and tried to fill the year with as many fun activities as we could.  Our friends were kind enough to gift us with some tickets to see the Magical Winter Lights down south of us.  It was the start to many fun adventures during the year.

Camping at Sea Rim State Park

I have tried my best to take my kids camping as often as I can.  I feel like it gives them a chance to unplug from the electronic lifestyle they've grown accustomed to and to just enjoy being kids.  Someone once said that my generation may be the last ones to go and play outside.  I fear they may be right.  Although if my kids tried playing outside in our current climate nine months out of the year they'd probably get heatstroke... 

Huh?  How did that happen?

So in February we discovered that we had an unexpected stowaway from our getaway to Austin.  Sarah and I had been debating on having a fourth child, seeing as we were already exhausted with the three we had.  However, it seems like the universe had different plans for us.  It was an unexpected, yet welcomed surprise.  When Sarah told me about it, I was just getting out of the shower.  I was so surprised that for the next half hour, I forgot to put any underwear on.

This is where the magic happens

I wanted to thank you profusely for last year's present: the 3D printer.  I have made an embarrassingly large proportion of things out of it and it never gives me any guff.  It's nice to be able to have the capacity to bring my digital creations to life and hold them in the palm of my hand. 

One of my favorite things about Houston

This year we were able to host one of my friends from my teenage years and her daughter as we explored the many things that Houston has to offer.  One of the things we did was take them to the Houston Rodeo and Livestock Show, which is the one of the largest rodeos in the world.  It's always fun for me to go and spend time with my family looking at all the exhibits and vendors there.  I think it's important to appreciate the hard-working jobs that got us to where we are today.  Being a cowboy certainly isn't something I wanted to do as a kid, but I certainly love the idea as an adult.

Bulldog bliss

I'm sort of a stingy parent when it comes to animals in the house.  Although I did have hamsters and a dog growing up, I have come to realize how convenient it is to not have pets.  Ergo, I have tolerated being a pet-sitter.  One frequent visitor we have to the house is Philly the bulldog.  To be honest, she's about as hard to sit as a potted plant, but we still love her.  

Furry friends

My kids also got the experience of caring for a pair of guinea pigs and learned just how skittish they can be.  Oddly enough, during the entire time, I was the only one that ever got bitten.

Not a pet

One of the things we did this year that has paid off is that we actually bought a membership to a museum.  The Houston Museum of Natural Science is one of my favorite places to visit in Houston.  There are so many exhibits to explore, but I have to admit that my favorite one is the gemstone exhibit.  It's so fascinating to me to see how things naturally form.  Change one chemical and, poof, you've got a completely different structure.

Probably the best student out of the three

One of the things we did in anticipation for the upcoming summer trip was to enroll the kids in swim school.  I was very impressed with what the teachers were able to do with my kids and, although not all of them can do laps, they at least know enough to be safe around water.

Hiking the river in Capitol Reef

This summer Sarah and the kids left me in Houston to go visit family out in Utah and Idaho.  There were plenty of adventures for them out there and I was able to take part with them eventually.  We hiked in Capitol Reef, explored Craters of the Moon National Monument, enjoyed a day at Lagoon, had a family reunion, and enjoyed some quiet time at Fish Lake.  With a pregnant mother, we probably did way more than we should have, but at this point, I hope to give them as many positive memories of childhood as I can.

They were crack shots

I've been trying to make sure my kids were exposed to the same sort of rugged activities I was as a kid, in part because I don't want them to be afraid of the world.  This summer I started them off on learning about firearms and firearm safety.  With all the unfortunate tragedies in this country over the past year, I wanted them to learn firsthand how to respect their second amendment rights.  They were both crack shots once I got them onto a modern firearm and they had loads of fun.

This is why you break the board the first time

One of the things we've also enjoyed this year is doing taekwondo together as a family.  Our city recreation center has a deal where the entire family can train for only $25 a month.  We started the kids earlier in the year and once Leah had advanced into the beginners class I decided to join her.  I figured I could go and watch her do lessons while I sat around or else I could join in the fun and get some exercise.  I haven't regretted a moment of it and have had lots of fun getting back into martial arts.  I did karate as a child, but never got up to my black belt.  Now I'm on a track where I can do it together with my family.

It was good to see a smile

In spite of all the fun things we experienced this year, there has been some real trials.  This past summer my dad started getting unexpected back pain which progressed into him being completely incapacitated.  They eventually diagnosed him with a bacterial infection in his spine and also a misalignment of his SI joint, but they took their sweet time doing so. It was the first time in my life that I've seen my dad completely disheartened.  This year he was also going to turn 80, and we wanted to have a fun family celebration for him.  However, since Sarah was due to give birth around his birthday, we decided it would be better to have a smaller surprise celebration with him around Labor Day.  So myself and all my brothers sneakily got to Utah and surprised him as he was sitting in his recliner.  It was a tender moment to see my dad realize that he had a lot of close personal support in spite of the pain that he had been facing.  He's nowhere near fully recovered right now, but we think he's finally on a track to getting back to normal.  He lost a lot of strength during those months he was incapacitated, so now he's got the hard task of doing physical therapy to regrow some muscle.

Passing on the knowledge

This entire ordeal sort of drove home to me how important my family is.  I have plenty of friends who don't have their parents around anymore.  I feel fortunate that my parents are around still and able to do what they have been able to do.  Most importantly I am grateful that they have a chance to interact with my kids.  I hope they form some long-lasting memories of their grandparents.


Goofballs

Speaking of my kids, they both frustrate and thrill me to death.  I constantly struggle to keep up with the messes they make and also their boundless enthusiasm for life.  The oldest three thankfully are all old enough to play Minecraft together (even though Lucy has very little idea what she is doing), so they can enjoy being collectively creative.  They play together more than they play with other kids, which is quite a contrast to how I grew up.

First day jitters

It's quite rewarding to see them support and love each other.  I really have been blessed with good kids, even though they sometimes are too much for me to handle.

Little Leah Lou

My little Leah Lou isn't so little anymore.  It has been fun to see her start to grow into being a young woman.  She has a tender heart and cares for everyone in the family.  I've seen her maternal instinct kick in on more than one occasion (especially as it relates to her baby brother) and I know she is on a good path.  This year she started participating in the gifted and talented program at her school, which she was hoping for.

A happy day for all

This year Leah also made the decision to be baptized, which she has been looking forward to all year long.  It was a very happy day for us, especially since both her grandmas were able to come to witness it.  Even though we were far away from family, we were blessed to be joined on that day by countless friends that we have here in Texas.

Ground control to Major Tom...

 My oldest boy certainly keeps us on our toes.  One of the things he certainly doesn't lack is courage.  My boy isn't afraid of being social to anyone.  In fact, I think he'd be comfortable living with another family every day if you let him.  He loves people, inventing things, reading, writing, and playing Minecraft.  Although he often taxes my patience with his lack of focus, he surprises me with his creativity and drive.  He started first grade this year and has continued his participation with the gifted and talented program at school.

I think this would be more appropriately referred to as a "sleepless study"

Can you double check for me to make sure that Sean is still on the "Nice List"? The reason I ask is because he has manifested some more behavior problems both at home and at school this year.  The thing is that he doesn't fit the bill as a kid with ADHD as he can have laser focus on a task and obsession with it, almost to the extreme.  Anyway, we recently had a sleep study done, as we think he just might not be getting enough quality sleep at night.  We're still waiting to hear back from the doctor's office, but we hope we can get some help for him.  Sean is a sweet-hearted kid with a tender soul.

Probably the most photogenic of the kids

Where to begin with Lucy?  She is sweet, kind, and loving to the extreme.  This girl loves to be creative, whether is be coloring, playing with clay, painting, or building with blocks.  She was supposed to start Pre-K 3 this year, but due to a change in district policy, she wasn't able to.  That really made her discouraged, but in the meantime she has been participating in speech therapy at the elementary school and a preschool group with friends.

Merry Christmas!

Lucy just wants to be one of the big kids and is constantly trying to show how capable she is to us and her siblings.  She just wants to be involved and is learning (sometimes through struggles) that it pays to be a helper in life.

My Mal Pal

At last we come to Malcolm.  He joined our little family on October 3rd of this year and has been an exhausting blessing ever since.  I can't say much about his activities aside from the fact that he eats, sleeps, and poops.  We are getting more and more smiles from the little guy every day and I can't begin say how much of a relief it is to have such a mellow baby as our last one.  I'm excited to see how this little guy develops.

Making a person is hard work, y'all

As for Sarah, I think this picture sums up her life perfectly.  For almost the past year she's been attached in one way or another to this little guy and has managed to somehow care for the other children along the way.  She spends most of her time caring for others, whether is be volunteering at the elementary school or serving her friends.  A lot of the time I know she is exhausted at the end of the day with the prospect of another full day ahead in the morning.  She continues to amaze me at how much she cares for others and how willingly she offers up her time to help out those she cares for.

Still working at "Space Disneyland"


As for me, I'm still chugging along at life.  This year at work has been relatively successful.  I had the fortune on many occasions to show my management the full range of my capabilities.  I feel like it has lead me on a path that could lead to better employment opportunities down the road.  In the meantime, I still make fun things at NASA Johnson Space Center.  A lot of things I make get international exposure, which is nice to see.

 Maclunkey

In my spare time I've tried to keep my hobbies up.  I recently decided to start doing a simplified version of Dungeons and Dragons for my kids to help them understand about cooperative storytelling and improvisation.  So far that has been a big hit and I look forward to having many adventures for them in the future.  I still love doing virtual reality and am anticipating the day when things get so immersive that I forget where I really am.  There are too many fun things that I wish I could do.  With the new baby, however, I have a lot less time on my hands than I used to.

 Literal footage of me versus my mental health

There is one last thing I wanted to mention, Santa, that I have been reluctant to talk openly on the about in years past.  I've been open to friends in private conversations and I've discussed this openly with my church congregation.  But I think a lot of people I know would be surprised (or maybe not) to learn that I've struggled with depression for most of my life.  I really didn't recognize/acknowledge that I had it until I was about 34 years old.  Looking back I've realized that it's been with me in one form or another since I was a child.  I finally sought help for the problem when I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and I realized how badly I was hurting my wife and my kids.  After talking openly about it with family members, I was surprised to find that many other individuals in my family had the same issues.  Turns out the problem has persisted from generation to generation and I just happened to be one of the unlucky ones who got the passed the depression/anxiety genes. 

I only mention this because some of my friends that read this open letter may be thinking to themselves, "Gee this guy seems to have it all together," when in fact most days lately I'm struggling to make it through the day.  Even taking an SSRI, I have to be careful about making sure I get enough sleep, otherwise I start going downhill fast.  And with a new baby that needs to be taken care of in the middle of the night, a lot of old demons that I thought were gone have begin to show their faces again.  It's been extremely hard and there have been days where I've gotten up from the dinner table while the kids have been misbehaving and gone straight to bed.  I've been frustrated with all the weight gain I've had, especially after losing so much in years past.  However, when you feel horrible every second of the day, you do whatever (no matter how irrational) to make yourself feel "good".  And, you know what?  Chocolate and cheese make me feel "good".

Anyway, I struggle to remind myself that my body isn't acting rationally and that my thinking is being affected by my whacked out body chemistry.  It's hard to see in the moment, but I try to hold onto the times when things seem "okay".  I have plenty of friends that struggle with the same problems I do and I hope they know that they don't struggle alone.  I know what it's like to have every moment at church be mired in pain.  I know what it's like to be to so riled up from depression that you just want to cause yourself pain to relieve the pressure.  I know what it feels like to just not want to be alive (not suicidal, mind you, but just wishing life itself would end so you would be free of the pain).  Others I know and care about struggle with this to a varying degree, and I would hope that they know they aren't all by themselves.

I would just hope that those who are struggling are able to take a moment in the times when things are "okay" and realize just how strong they are.  I often have to remind myself how much I accomplished in spite of my struggles with mental illness: I was often in leadership positions in high school, I was an accomplished guitar player, I participated in international science fair, I served a mission for my church, I was at the top of my industrial design program at BYU, I obtained my masters degree, married a wonderful woman, and obtained a job where I regularly meet people who have been to outer space.  I have to remember that I've accomplished quite a bit in spite of my mental illness, and for that I am grateful.  I know for some people getting up in the morning is an accomplishment and for that I sincerely applaud you.  Just know that there's one person in Texas that is rooting for your success, no matter how big or small.



In speaking of one rooting for your success, I guess that's what we are truly celebrating this Christmas season.  In spite of all the darkness that I've waded through, I still try to cling to my relationship with Jesus Christ.  He is the one that is rooting for our personal success in our lives.  He knows the pains we experience day by day and he has the power to heal them.  He has the power to wipe away the tears that come when the burden is just too much.  When he asked us to cast our burdens at his feet, he was sincerely offering up his time and energies to let us know that we are worthwhile.  I hope that more people feel that this Christmas season and are able to keep it with them once the excitement of the holiday season passes away.

So, Santa, I seem to have gotten a bit off topic.  Usually I guess people tell you what they'd like for Christmas.  I've really been thinking about it for a while and I've realized that I just wish I had more time to enjoy the things I already have.  If you have any of that in your sack this year, I'd love to have a piece.  Time is the one thing I seem to have a deficit on.  Just know that I appreciate all the goodwill that you have been spreading over the centuries.  I'm sure if people thought more like you did, it would truly feel like Christmas every day.

Sincerely,

-Brad Reynolds

P.S. We're watching Philly for Christmas this year, so please watch out for her slobber when you come down the chimney.



P.P.S. I'd also love a trip to Disneyworld for my family, but it can wait until next year.



P.P.P.S. Still waiting on that Jaeger Fighting Robot if you have room in your sleigh this year.